Sunday, March 11, 2012

Victory Confession #14 - Phase 2- Getting Stronger

Victory Confession: Phase 2 of my PPD and getting stronger already.

I've been on my medication for 7 weeks now.  I'm not really sure what I was expecting by taking my medication early or how it would help me this time around.  Especially since I started taking it before things even got to a point where it was hard.  I am a mere week in a half (or less) away from having my Baby Boy M in my arms forever.  

I realize things are going to change once he gets here and that's where I'm really going to see if this medication is helping, but so far I've been doing great.  There is just a natural emotionally taxing part about the END of pregnancy. You ache everywhere, you feel huge, no sleep, uncomfortable no matter where you sit or lay down. All you want is the baby OUT and out NOW!  I've definitely been feeling all of the above but compared to my first end of pregnancy experience I don't feel like I've been as emotional.  I remember crying every single night before bed that I hadn't had my baby yet for the last 2-3 weeks of my pregnancy.  I've only done that ONCE so far.  Emotionally and physically I'm ready to have this baby there is no doubt about it but I have a sense of content that he'll come at his own time.

Truly, the only thing I've been worried about is how Little P will handle all this change.  I know I've been making things out to be worse then they will probably end up being.  And she always surprises me with how well she transitions into a new phase of life.  I feel so blessed that things have gone so smoothly with her in our 2 short years together.

I've also been feeling grateful for supportive friends and family. Namely my mother, two wonderful Iowa natives that know me inside and out, not to mention such wonderful mothers and a newer friend that I told you about here awhile ago and could NOT have survived our first year here without.

My mother. Oh my lanta.  I call her everyday and tell her the same things and whine and complain and every time without fail she offers sympathy and reassurance.  I've always been open with my mom about everything and she always know the exact thing I need to hear.  I hope I can be that same way for my children.

My Iowa girls.  I get rather personal on this blog but using names isn't one of them since this is a public blog that anyone can read I do like to have some discretion. These two ladies have been so great, especially these last couple of months.  They have been emotionally supportive and just plain old fun. Lady M has been in my corner since her and I were 4. We've experienced our whole lives together.  There isn't much we don't know about each other.  She just became a new momma about 8 weeks ago to the THEE most charming little boy in the world and might I add the easiest baby I've ever been around. Never heard the boy cry and he sleeps a lot! Already I can see what a champion his mother is and will continue to be.  Lady K is such an example to me of a great mother.  Her set of challenges seem to have come all at once and she handles them with such fire and grace. She's always there to give me a good laugh and tell me to keep on going.

And my newest friend that I met shortly after we moved here has literally been my life-raft on my hardest days.  I don't even know how to explain the gratitude I've felt for her unwavering friendship and shoulder to cry on.  I would of drown without her this passed year and know I've found a life-long friend.

Minus my mother, these ladies and I got together yesterday for a lunch as my last social HOO-RAH before I become a mother of 2.  We talked and laughed and laughed and laughed.  The restaurant was completely full when we got there and two hours later we all realized we were the only people left and making lots of noise.  It was exactly what I needed.

There is one thing I've learned since I've become a mother that all other mothers need to know and learn.  Even those women reading this that haven't become mothers yet...Heck, even if there are some men reading this who will one day be the companions of these future mothers you should know this too....

Having other mothers in your life is essential.  Creating a bond with them will pull you through.  I've been grateful to know I'm not the only one that feels like I'm going completely crazy most days and sometimes don't even want to be a mom on the hardest days.  So you current mothers: let's come together.  You future mothers: we're here when you need us. Fathers and husbands: encourage her, help her, sympathize with her and accept her. 

Hopefully you'll hear from me shortly with a short VICTORY post about my new little man.


the pregnant, unbalanced, and stronger woman.