Friday, October 15, 2010

Confession # 7


I feel like I should be "Holly Homemaker"

The Unbalance:

Because I'm a stay at home mom and don't have a pressing schedule to stick too, I obviously have time to do my household duties everyday.  But there are days when I want to be lazy, not shower, stay in my PJ's, snack on sugary goodness and watch mushy gushy movies all day or Harry Potter.

I should probably  be honest with you (and myself). The days I want to do those things aren't every once in awhile...they're....okay, they're everyday.  And I usually do that everyday.  I said it. There. I'm a lazy bum.  I always think, "Well, tomorrow is an open day, I'll just do everything tomorrow."  But then the next day I think the same thing and keep avoiding doing the dishes, vacuuming the house, sweeping the kitchen, folding laundry, exercising. etc..

When people ask me how my day was and what I did.  I totally try and make it sound like I've been super busy taking care of my baby.  Yeah, it's hard being a mom and taking care a little one.  But honestly, I have the easiest baby alive.  She usually plays by herself and just wanders around the apartment and explores.  So, really my day isn't busy.

As of late, I've felt a little overwhelmed with pressure of being some kind of "super mom and wife". I feel like a lot is expected of me. Getting up early. Always having every meal prepared. Looking my best. Being involved in a million in a half extra-curricular activities. Having the house pefect.  Doing all of the chores.

It's not like I don't want to do those things, I'll get to a point where I can't stand how many dirty dishes are in the sink, or how dirty the floor is, in the kitchen and I'll get things done. I sometimes feel like I need to be "on the ball" constantly.

Finding the Balance:

I have found that lists are miraculous things.  

First, with my PPD if I have a completely unorganized, chaotic day I go a little nuts and start to stress and get overwhelmed. If I make a list of things I need to do during the day, I have a visual reminder of what needs to be done and then I can cross them off. And at the end of the day whether or not I got it all done, those things I did get done, it's nice to see them crossed off and I feel accomplished.  

Second, if I want a "nothing" day, and just relax. I still make a list of all the relaxing things I want to do. For example, *Take a bubble bath. *dress in my super warm and comfy sweatpants.*Watch Pride and Prejudice, and She's the Man."  I guess it's my way of telling myself it's okay to have a down day.

And ya know? If I'm not a perfect homemaker, what's the big deal?  I'm really trying to be a good mom, I'm trying even harder to be a good wife and I'm taking control of the things in my life that need fixing. AKA: my PPD.  I have found when I'm doing all I can for my Heavenly Father, my daughter, and my husband, the rest falls into place and my desires change. I desire to have a clean home that I can take pride in, I desire to have meals prepared so my husband and I can have a nice, healthy meal. I desire to get things done and I enjoy it.

So, let's forget about "Holly Homemaker" and be who you want to be, be your best self. 


  1. Lists are great. I was the same way, just hanging out everyday, but then I realized (pretty much when Claire started crawling), that I couldn't just do the housework when I felt like it. I made a schedule so that everything can get done in a week's time, but if I don't hit it, I am okay with that too since I know it will be done next week. I did plan in a fun day too. Now that Alex is getting older and more mobile, having a schedule seems even more important if I want to get anything done at all.

  2. I'm totally with you on this one. Sometimes I feel like such a schmuck for not getting everything done. But seriously, sometimes I think I can do more in a day than I really can. I have to remember that it's totally kosher to put things like "put your feet up" on my to do list. My goal is to keep my list balanced so that I get things done that I really need to, like the dishes, but I keep my list realistic and give myself some things to do for me so I'm not a big stress ball all of the time.

    Also, She's the Man, may or may not be one of my old guilty pleasures, so I'm just sayin' that if you ever happen to take one of those lazy do nothing days and you should happen to want some company, you know my number. :D

  3. I also agree! It's hard not to live up to the mantra of "being the perfect mother/wife!" But I found comparing myself to others is quite destructive and can be a part of this problem. Great idea about making lists and (for me at least) don't worry about what other moms are doing! They have their life and I have mine.

  4. My oh my I am NOT Holly Homemaker. It's all I can do to get 3 barely decent meals into my kids every day. And I'm pretty much useless after 2pm. :) If it doesn't get done in the morning then it doesn't get done. But you know, it's ok. Also, I am all about lists. I even put things on my list that I have already done that morning just so I can have at least something crossed off.