Victory Confession #15 & 16 -Life is a battlefield, and we fight together.
Cheesy line up there right? Ha. I thought it was funny.
Ya know, it's amazing what writing my problems out can do for me. There are a few things it does in particular...
1. It is a release for me to be able to talk (write) about what my struggles are so I can work them out. Almost a physical release like running is.
2. It hold me accountable to what I've committed to do better.
3. The feedback I receive provides me with great support.
I was just telling dear hubby yesterday that I feel like I'm always the one checking in on my friends and making sure they're okay, but no one ever checks on me. I don't expect that from my friends, well maybe I do. Okay, not expect it, just wish for it every once in awhile. I received an out pouring of loves from lots of you. Thanks.
My victory today is two-fold.
First, today has gone much better than the last month combined. I finally figured something out, that should of been a no-brainer to me months ago but finally had the light bulb moment today. In my morning prayers I'm constantly asking to be blessed, to help me, me, me..but this morning I changed my tune. This morning I asked, "What do you want me to do for HER?" Not only is she my daughter but she is Heavenly Father's as well. He knows her better than me, and since I am her mother and have stewardship over her, He can help me know what's best for her.
DONK! (slaps forehead)
And all day long I felt quiet promptings leading me to be a better momma for my Little P. And she responded wonderfully. I didn't yell today. Yes, you read that right. Wait,.....did I TYPE THAT RIGHT?!?!
Yes, I didn't yell. I deserve a prize.
Okay, not a prize.
Maybe a sticker.
Yes, someone mail me a sticker.
Little P was happy and cheerful. She listened and obeyed. We talked a lot and played even more. I took the time to just be. JUST BE. And she became a completely different little lady.
It was...just...BAHH, it was just great. I feel like dancing. Excuse me.
(doing a little dance.....)
Okay second victory for today.
Dear hubby and I went on a date. It was our first date since BEFORE Baby M arrived. It was so fun. We laughed over dinner and played hockey with the sugar packets while we waited for our food. I tried something new, instead of ordering the same thing. He forced me to taste his strawberry milkshake and I didn't like it, but it made my mouth water so much it left me wanting more. So I kept drinking it, even thought I didn't like it. And now I have gas. Because of the strawberries.
Yes. Strawberries give me gas.
Once dinner was over I had arranged for us to go horseback riding. Something I haven't done it about 8 years. When we got there, things didn't work out and there weren't any horses. So we went mini golfing instead at this very ghetto outdoor mini golfing place. Where it was full of a bunch of teenagers afraid to hold the other persons hand.
It was funny.
Watching the awkwardness.
There was a little girl golfing behind us that would whisper every time we were about to putt saying...."I'm helping you by closing my eyes and breathing like this..." and then she would proceed to exhale out her nose very loudly. I got several holes in one. Which never happens. Her helping worked out nicely for me.
It was a wonderful evening and we came home to sleepy but happy children.
Days like this, make all the bad worth it. And make the future bad days..not so bad.
Oh yeah, the cheesey line at the beginning...
We were leaving the mini golfing place and had to go through a parking garage to get to our car and this was our conversation:
Hubby: this parking garage is weird. they painted it funny colors.
Wifey: I think it's creepy, some man could just come out and attack us. But I'd kick him in the balls.
Hubby: What if it was a women?
Wifey: I'd still kick her down there...there's a bone there it hurts when it gets hit.
Hubby: What if she was wearing a cup?
Wifey: Then I'd punch her in the boob.
Hubby: What if she was wearing protective boob cups?
Wifey: Then I'd pull her hair out.
Hubby: What if her head was shaved?
Wifey: I'd scratch her face with my finger nails and poke her in the eyes.
Hubby: What if she had protective gear all over her head?
Wifey: Then I'd knee her in the gut.
Hubby: What if that area was protected too?
Wifey: Then I'd tackle her and fart in her face and run her over with the car for good measure.
Hubby: *long pause* Well, you've just thought of everything haven't you?
Wifey: Um, yeah I'm not going to let someone take advantage of me like that.
Hubby: You know I'd help you right?...if you needed it.
Wifey: I know.
For some reason I thought of that line when he offered his help.
He told me yesterday,after he read my post, he was grateful I was fighting so hard to be a better momma and that I could count on him for anything.
This is true love my friends.
the unbalanced, mother of 2, and victorious for a day.